I spent my teenage years dedicated to the music department at my Fenland comprehensive school. Choir, orchestra, string quartet, vocal ensemble, recorder group. Local music festivals, county-wide choir days, youth orchestra every Saturday and umpteen church f
êtes. We were a partner school of Cambridge University, and so it happened that every December, we'd pile into a minibus and he'd drive us to Cambridge, the Head of Music leading a gaggle of girls over the Backs and to King's College chapel, where we'd sit, awestruck, alongside fellow music geeks of Cambridgeshire, and listen to a special performance of
Carols from King's; without the TV cameras, without the crowds of people queuing from breakfast time to try to get a seat. Just 20 or so teenage girls high on sugar from vending machine sweets, on the lookout for nice male undergraduates in the choir, with a slightly harassed middle-aged man known as 'Mr C'.
5 comments:
I echo so much of your journey here. I wish parents of small children, in particular, mums, stopped being viewed by churches as 'people who should be serving/leading crèche' etc and started viewing them as a high priority for support and care. I know the issue isn't just motherhood, but I see so many mums who are living in a state of chronic exhaustion and sleep deprivation, and it would be helpful if the (male-led??) church bore that in mind.
I also think it would be nice to have an evangelical 'introvert service', where you can write instead of talking or something.
I haven't been in 'family' churches much recently (mainly because of where I live) but one thing that always struck me in my parents' church was how often the creche/children's church stuff was done by parents for parents. There was never any encouragement for non-parents or other adults to get involved in the children's work so that parents could have some time off.
In the church I went to when I was very small, both my grandmas ran a Sunday school class and various other older (often unmarried and/or childless women) would take a really active role. That felt much more even, and allowed children who didn't have their grandparents around to have some experience of other generations.
Great article Hannah!
From a slightly different angle (not being a mother myself) we've walked into churches before and only had one person speak to us for several weeks of attending. It left us feeling like we were in church just to 'consume' the service making us feel unfulfilled and disillusioned. Indeed I think the presumption that many in 'our generation' are just lazy consumerists and trying to pander to that is precisely why some are turning away from the church.
We've found so much of our disillusionment has been overcome by finding a church where church is first and foremost a community (rather than what happens on a Sunday morning or during any church organised activities- which btw I'm not saying you think at all). Our church isn't perfect but the strong sense of community means that you're 'fed' in your time of needing support/space (or like you say just a reassuring 'I know') etc, but at the same time you're challenged to 'feed' others when you have the strength/time etc to do it and ensure those who need 'feeding' have the time and space to do it and not feel guilty about it. Ensuring people matter first and foremost (apart from God of course!) has also meant people's struggles and criticisms have been dealt with much more openly and honestly than I've seen before. It doesn't mean as a church there aren't disagreements or people get it right all the time, but it has meant my husband and I enjoy church once and have grown and deepened our faith whilst being there when we'd almost stopped looking for a church to settle in.
Yes to all of this. Thank You.
Totally understand how you feel Hannah! Ive not felt proper engaged with church since Samuel came along and felt fustrated with the lack of support for young mums. We met with one of the church leaders wives to voice some of our concerns. She graciously listened and came up a few suggestions to make things easier for us on a Sunday and came up with ways of how to support us better. Id encourage you to do the same -i dont think you'd be branded a disturber of the peace if you've got legitimate concerns which are valid and brought forward with grace. God sees us in this season and knows what we are struggling with- thank goodness! He knows we are doing the best we can in this sleep deprived couple of years.
Much love Laura xx
Ps. Totally think creche should not have to be run by mums!we need a break sometimes especially when you're cell group leading and husbands involved in ministry team and projector!! I love the sundays when Mike and I aren't doing anything-well except looking after the kids of course but you know what i mean! : D
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