tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-327544553976967122.post8702526136701155044..comments2024-03-27T05:50:16.659+00:00Comments on We Mixed Our Drinks: UniLad: when "banter" crosses a lineHannah Mudgehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06367085612049349757noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-327544553976967122.post-84522626276042743102014-05-13T00:50:25.830+01:002014-05-13T00:50:25.830+01:00You just can't handle the banter loveYou just can't handle the banter lovemattnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-327544553976967122.post-36387805826807568862012-02-09T23:28:26.806+00:002012-02-09T23:28:26.806+00:00As an American and mid-50's, I've been stu...As an American and mid-50's, I've been stunned again and again at the inhumanity of college culture - both in the US and UK. It continues to blow my mind how people - even immature college morons - can be this uncaring and insensitive. <br /><br />Clearly there is some sort of detachment that means that "some bird" is always someone else's girl - that this couldn't POSSIBLY be their girl, their friend, their sister or cousin or neighbor. <br /><br />It's the same moronicity (my made up word) that tells rednecks in the US that raping a gay teen with a bottle or a broom-handle or a baseball bat is appropriate, "because he deserves it, he's a &%$#ing fag."<br /><br />It's articles like this that sometimes really make me want to get a gun, just to protect myself against these morons. It's tough to argue against that kind of thinking, sometimes.Steve F.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12697100521186605498noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-327544553976967122.post-80010588381627820592012-02-03T11:35:00.551+00:002012-02-03T11:35:00.551+00:00Thanks for a really interesting blog. I'm read...Thanks for a really interesting blog. I'm reading this as someone who went to university way back in the 1980s (showing my old age now!)- but I mention this because at that time it really felt that sexism was taken far more seriously than it is today. I think there's always a danger when you get older of beginning to believe that you grew up in a golden age and believe me I don't think I did! There's always been dodgy attitudes and behaviour, sexist music videos/lyrics, magazines etc but nothing like on the level there is today and I wonder whether this is simply a reflection of the expansion of the media or whether it's also about the increase in the acceptability of sexism. <br /><br />Regarding the whole lad culture issue, I really believe that culturally it's helped to drag us back to a place where gender stereotypes are more rigidly asserted than 20 years ago. It's interesting that when Loaded magazine was launched in the mid 90s it justified its one dimensional view of women either in terms of 'irony' ( the it's not meant to be taken literally excuse )or 'honesty' (the - but what's wrong with fancying women excuse). (Both contradictory arguments but nevermind!) A few years ago The Guardian had an interview with the then editors of lads' magazines and one of them said something along the lines of 'of course we have alot of sexism in our magazine, it's there because the readers want it'. It struck me at the time that we had now moved to a situation where sexism had become such a non issue that the editors of this garbage couldn't even be bothered to lie about it anymore! (Needless to say the content of these magazines described in the article hardly depicted a society in which sexism was no longer a problem!) <br /><br />It is great though to see that over the last few years more younger women (and men) are standing up to this culture. I think that sexism increased atleast partly because people stopped standing up to it.Clarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05404311034744138914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-327544553976967122.post-27620728396627967672012-02-02T17:09:06.980+00:002012-02-02T17:09:06.980+00:00Urgh, I hate this so much. I've lost count of ...Urgh, I hate this so much. I've lost count of the amount of times at uni that I heard horribly offensive things, followed by 'ha ha ha BANTER'. I wish I could drum it into their heads that if you need to offend and upset people in order to be funny, you're really not that funny in the first place.<br /><br />When these 'lads' who apparently have girlfriends that they love and respect make awful rape jokes, I wonder if they're aware that they're contributing to a culture in which, if their girlfriend was raped or assaulted, there's every chance she wouldn't be taken seriously. I don't mean that in a 'wait til something happens to your girlfriend and see how you like it then!', spiteful kind of way, but more in a 'do they not realise their banter doesn't exist in a vacuum?' way.<br /><br />I hate to generalise but I often think that women who back up things like this are doing it because of some kind of internalised misogyny. They don't want to be the easily offended, boring girl who can't take the boy's banter, so they go along with it all. Of course some of them are probably just horrible - as I said, I hate to generalise.<br /><br />Sorry if none of this makes sense. I have a habit of losing all eloquence when things make me this ragey.Emily Blackburnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04182380198309291957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-327544553976967122.post-48818963370015715092012-02-01T11:06:43.275+00:002012-02-01T11:06:43.275+00:00Exactly. The majority of those commenting on FB in...Exactly. The majority of those commenting on FB instantly jumped on the 'stupid birds who can't take the banter' bandwagon, backed up by a fair few women as well. I've just seen the token woman who contributes to the site tweeting about how the guys of UniLad are just normal blokes who have girlfriends who aren't bothered by it all. Really? Because if I found out that Luke was sitting online, writing puerile little stories about 'destroying wenches' and how 'all women are slags', telling women they deserved to be raped, I can't say I'd be that happy about it.Hannah Mudgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06367085612049349757noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-327544553976967122.post-33788980611321235402012-02-01T09:40:02.522+00:002012-02-01T09:40:02.522+00:00I hate to use this scenario as a weapon, but I won...I hate to use this scenario as a weapon, but I wonder how funny a UniLad will find it when one day his daughter, sister or best friend is made to feel the same way by a similar group. Or worse...<br />I made the mistake of looking at the Facebook group and was interested to see how many of the comments about the complaints assume that it was only women who complained. The pro-lads have turned it into a gender battle, showing an incredible disregard for the fact that rape is an issue for anyone, regardless of gender. Like sexuality, and eating disorders. They've not only stereotyped their female 'subjects', but their male readers as well.The Social Mediatrixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15697263069260335700noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-327544553976967122.post-79833769833128814382012-02-01T09:22:40.590+00:002012-02-01T09:22:40.590+00:00Thanks for this Hannah, shocking what some people ...Thanks for this Hannah, shocking what some people want to 'joke' about!Craneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04947497128694381748noreply@blogger.com